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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26835238">all of the love in the world</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crockettmarcel/pseuds/crockettmarcel'>crockettmarcel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>tiny love!au [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago Med</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, For the most part, Parenthood, and they're in love, bi!sarah, but ava and sarah invented parenting, i deadass don't know how to tag this ahjdhsjhk, lesbian!ava</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:07:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26835238</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crockettmarcel/pseuds/crockettmarcel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah held her phone out for April to look at, her smile wide at the memory of the image. It was one of her favourites, a candid she'd taken during a picnic at Millennium Park a few months ago.</p><p>"You have a daughter?"</p><p>or the one where Ava and Sarah are moms</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ava Bekker/Sarah Reese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>tiny love!au [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791484</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>all of the love in the world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this fic takes place during med s1-4, and will mainly be rewrites of certain episodes to include ava and sarah's relationship, and their daughter !!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first thing Ava noticed when Sarah got in the car was that she was quiet. Too quiet. She was in the middle of her ED rotation, which meant that she seemed to have an endless supply of stories - some funny, some happy, and some that were just downright gross.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But today there was nothing. She offered her cheek for a kiss, which Ava was more than willing to give her, then turned around to wave to their daughter in the backseat, but after that she was silent. Most of the drive she spent staring out the window, head resting against the cold glass as she watched the lights of the city flash past them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “I was thinking we could get takeout tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Mhm. Whatever you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “I’ll call Patino’s when we get in, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no reply - not that Ava was really expecting one - and the two of them settled into an almost-comfortable silence again. There were a million things Ava wanted to say, to ask Sarah about, but she knew she wasn’t going to get any answers now, so there was no point even trying. Lolly was asleep in her car seat, so it was only the sounds from outside that broke through the quiet between them - sirens and car horns and their tyres passing over the wet road beneath them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t a long drive, but by the time they got home, Ava was the only one awake. She gently shook Sarah’s shoulder, waiting until she knew she’d woken up before heading to the other side of the car to unbuckle Lolly and carry her inside. She hardly stirred despite the intrusion, and quickly relaxed into Ava’s arms as they made their way up the steps and onto the porch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She fumbled with her keys for a moment, trying to find the right one and fit it into the door without disturbing Lolly, and by the time she’d managed to get it open, Sarah had appeared next to her, almost dragging her backpack along next to her. It had been a long day, and all she wanted to do was get inside and settle down for the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With their coats hung up and shoes put away, the pair went their separate ways - Ava into the kitchen with Lolly to get her something to eat while she ordered dinner, and Sarah towards the bedroom at the back of the house. She loved Ava and Lolly more than anything, but she just wasn’t sure if she could be around them right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a dark green sweater crumpled up on the bed, a vintage one Ava had bought a few months back, and Sarah quickly slipped out of her clothes and pulled it on along with a pair of black sweats. It was slightly too big on her, but it was soft and smelled like Ava’s rose perfume. It felt like home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pottered around the bedroom for a few minutes, moving clothes from the floor to the hamper in the corner, and reorganising the dresser, until she noticed Ava leaning against the doorframe, Lolly sitting on the floor at her feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>      “Food should be here in half an hour.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sarah nodded, turning her attention back to the t-shirt she was trying but failing to fold. Every time she managed to get it into something that vaguely resembled a square, one corner would fall out of place, and within seconds the whole thing would be completely unfolded in her hands, as if it had been that way the entire time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She let out a frustrated sigh, then threw the shirt across the room, watching as it landed on the lamp next to the bed and knocked the shade sideways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Sarah…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ava frowned, then made her way over to Sarah. Up close, it was even more obvious how upset she was, and Ava had to resist the urge to pull her into the biggest bear hug she could manage. Instead, she took her by the hand and led her over to sit on the bed, their thighs and shoulders pressed against each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “You’re not fine, my love. Please talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sarah stayed silent, avoiding eye contact and fiddling with one of the drawstrings of her sweatpants, rolling and unrolling it over and over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Did something happen at work?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She let the drawstring hang, her fingers suddenly still, and that was all the confirmation Ava needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “A patient?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Sarah broke down, finally allowing everything she’d held in since leaving Med to escape. She sobbed into Ava’s shoulder, not caring about the tear stains that were soaking through the soft flannel of her shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “He-he's eight. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Eight. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And we had- we had to-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Shh, you’re okay,” Ava whispered, rubbing circles between Sarah’s shoulder blades. “Take your time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kept crying, her breaths coming in shaky, uneven gasps, until it seemed like she’d run out of tears. Ava was still rubbing her back, even as she pulled away, and it was almost enough to set her off again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “He, uh- he has Krabbe disease.” She swallowed, trying to untangle the mess of thoughts in her mind and form them into coherent sentences. “Dr Charles, he said that he had five years to live. And this kid, he was happy about it. He said that was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>long time.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She gasped and placed a hand over her mouth as a fresh wave of tears washed over her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Oh, Sarah. I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “And I just-” she took a couple of seconds to calm herself down. “What if that was Lolly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both looked over to where she was still sitting in the doorway, completely oblivious to everything that was going on. All of her attention was focused on the little toy phone she’d brought upstairs with her, on the bright colours and fun buttons, and she didn’t even look up at the mention of her name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “It gets easier. It might not seem like it now, but it does.” She placed a kiss on Sarah’s temple, smiling at her as she pulled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “When? Because I- every single case with a kid feels worse than the last, and I don’t know how much more of it I can take.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “I’m gonna be honest, I’ve only just stopped seeing Lolly in every child lying in the OR. It’s hard, constantly worrying that it could be </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> baby there, but you just have to trust that she’s okay, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sarah sighed, giving Ava a weak smile. “I think Dr Charles might be better for advice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Maybe, but he can’t do this.” She leaned closer to Sarah, holding her jaw in one hand and kissing all over her face and neck, wherever she could reach. Gentle kisses, her lips barely grazing Sarah’s soft skin, but enough for her to feel the love behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed like that for a few minutes, relishing in this time together. There was still an ache deep in Sarah’s chest, but just being with Ava was enough to make her forget about it, at least for a while. Ava had that effect on her - she always had - and Sarah still couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have her in her life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only when Lolly appeared in front of them, tugging at the fabric of Sarah’s pants and looking up at them with wide eyes, that they pulled away. As soon as she had their attention, she stuck her arms up in the air, waiting to be picked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “Cuddle time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lolly nodded, grinning as Sarah scooped her up and sat her on her lap. She quickly buried her face in Sarah’s chest and closed her eyes, content to just sit with her moms. She was the most important thing in their lives, and she knew this, understood as best as a toddler could that they’d protect her from anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>     “I love you so much, Olivia.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ava reached out to stroke her curls, nodding in agreement. “We both do, angel.”</span>
</p>
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